When life throws you a curveball, you have options. You can't always see them straight away though. Sometimes you have to let the dust settle, which is exactly what we did. Our inital feelings are hard to put into words. For Tony, fear, shock. He's a brilliant problem solver and his first instinct was that he needed to get his affairs in order, plan for the worst. That's the issue with Cancer. It's scary, we don't talk about it. We hear a stage and assume death sentence. Instantly envisioning hair loss, sunken eyes. I think it's ingrained into us, yet we forget how far treatment and technology have come over the year. I was terrified, anticipatory grief. Intrusive thoughts about what was about to him, Chemo, illness. The fear of losing him, seeing him in pain. Again, negative connotations that instantly jump to mind. One thing that might sound strange is how the thought or idea of losing the person you love is horrific, it hurts in a way I don't know how t...
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