Chemotherapy isn’t one event.
It’s a process — repeated, relentless, and cumulative.
Having seven chemotherapy cycles back to back is not just about getting through treatment days. It’s about enduring weeks and months where recovery never fully catches up before the next round begins.
As you might remember, tony's chemo was suspended in January as it caused a ''Heart Event''. We found out that he was ''handling the chemo so well'' that rather than having 4 post op chemo cycles (the normal amount) oncology added the missed cycles from January onto his post op chemo treatments. At first we thought this was a negative, maybe they think something is wrong, but they've explained it's simply a way to cover all babes and get the most from treatment.
The first cycles: bracing yourself
The early cycles often come with a strange mix of fear and determination.
You don’t yet know how your body will react. Side effects are talked about in lists — nausea, fatigue, hair loss, brain fog — but lists don’t prepare you for how personal it all becomes.
At first, there’s often hope that you’ll be “one of the lucky ones.” That maybe it won’t be too bad. And sometimes, the body copes reasonably well early on.
But chemo is cumulative. Stay positive, but keep in mind that it';ll get more intense each cycle.
The middle cycles: the wear and tear
By cycles three, four, and five, things begin to change.
Fatigue deepens — not tiredness, but a bone-heavy exhaustion that rest doesn’t fix. Energy becomes something you ration carefully. Walking upstairs, holding a conversation, or concentrating on a TV programme can feel draining.
Side effects linger longer between cycles. The days you once counted as “recovery days” start to blur into the next treatment.
This is often when frustration sets in.
You may look “okay” on the outside, but inside your body feels under constant assault. Patience becomes harder. Motivation wavers. The emotional load quietly increases.
Strangely, after the first chemo in January, Tony lost his hair, yet for the post op cycles, his hair has thinned, but ot fallen out.
The later cycles: running on empty
By cycles six and seven, many people feel like they are running on reserves they didn’t know they had.
The body feels battered. The mind feels foggy. There’s a sense of living appointment to appointment — blood tests, infusions, side-effect management, countdowns.
Chemo brain can make thinking slow and unreliable. Words disappear mid-sentence. Memory feels slippery. It can be frightening and deeply frustrating. I've found that at times, it's almost like Tony has early onset dementia.
Emotionally, there can be a strange mix of numbness and rawness. You’re so close to the end, yet the finish line feels impossibly far away.
The emotional toll no one warns you about
Seven back-to-back cycles don’t just affect the body — they reshape your inner world.
There can be:
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Anxiety before each cycle
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Grief for the life that’s on hold
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Guilt for needing so much support
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Fear about whether it’s working
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Pressure to “stay positive” when positivity feels exhausting
Strength during chemo isn’t loud or dramatic. Often, it’s quiet endurance.
Showing up again.
Sitting in the chair again.
Letting poison in because it might save your life.
That takes courage — even on days it doesn’t feel like it.
Relationships change too
Chemo affects everyone around you.
Loved ones may feel helpless. Conversations become medical. Plans become tentative. Independence slips away and is replaced with reliance — which can be emotionally challenging for everyone involved.
Yet, this is often where love shows up most clearly. In lifts to appointments. In meals prepared. In quiet company when words are too much.
The end isn’t an instant relief
Finishing the seventh cycle doesn’t mean everything suddenly improves.
There’s often relief — enormous relief — but also exhaustion, vulnerability, and a strange sense of being unanchored. The structure of treatment ends, but recovery takes time.
The body needs space to heal. The mind needs time to process what it’s been through.
And that’s normal.
What seven cycles teaches you
Seven chemotherapy cycles back to back teach you things you never wanted to learn:
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How resilient the human body can be
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How fragile it can feel at the same time
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How strength isn’t about pushing — it’s about enduring
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How asking for help is not weakness
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How deeply you value ordinary, quiet days
You don’t come out unchanged. But you come out knowing yourself in a way few people ever do.
To anyone in the middle of it
If you’re somewhere between cycle one and seven — especially in the later rounds — know this:
You are not imagining how hard this is.
You are not failing if you’re exhausted.
You are not weak for struggling.
Every cycle you complete is an act of courage.
One appointment at a time.
One day at a time.
One breath at a time.
And that is more than enough.
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